1-20-09 . . .
How long has THIS date been etched into your mind. The last few years have been so difficult and so controversial for so much of the world, that the impending arrival of this date was like the approaching finishing line . . . can’t wait to get there . . . or, more appropriately, an approaching starting line. Whether you like the Bush administration or not, the world is in the mood for a change. Many of my colleagues are filled with fear about what lies ahead for them with a heavily weighted Democratic congress and a Democrat in the White House (a lot of docs are Republicans, you know). I do think it is fair to say that most of us, however, are looking forward to a chance for a new beginning. Whether you voted for McCain or for Obama, it was time for a change.
But this blog has never been and will never be about politics. It is about relationships. And, for me, the date of January 20, 2009 has been etched into my mind for far longer than the rest of you. For me , and for my wife, it is a date of great symbolism and importance.
Today is our 25th wedding anniversary.
We got married on a day very similar to this one. Cold and blustery with the sun shining on the snow piled up around Philadelphia’s City Hall. Not much different than today. The Honorable Marvin Halpern presided over what is typically a brief ceremony. He spoke of being touched by the attendance of family that filled his chamber to witness our joining. I think that couples usually showed up with less of a following. We had no money and, like all young newlyweds, were clueless about the road ahead. But we were in love. So married we were. And in the back of our minds, pictured January 20, 2009. And January 20, 2034 . . . our impending 50th anniversary. They seemed so far away at the time.
Like all married couples, we have gone through very difficult times. We weathered medical school, my residency, tough financial times, family illnesses and crises. Different views on managing the kids, time, money . . . all the usual marital potholes. We have watched with dismay as many of the couples who we started with found life better without each other. I am very pleased to say that that has never been our path. Speaking for myself only now (my wife does not blog, thank you very much), I can say that I am as happy now as the first day of our marriage. And that happiness comes without the blinders of youth. It comes with a full knowledge of our differences. A full knowledge of the limitations that we both bring to the relationship. And a full knowledge of how hard it can be to keep a relationship going over time. The joy and contentment that comes from feeling the physical and spiritual presence of someone with you over the course of two and a half decades inspires awe in me. This journey of life is amazing.
Today, I count as one of the many blessings in my life, the chance to spend January 20th, 2009 with my best friend, my wife of twenty five years.
I don’t know what twists and turns the world will bring over the next twenty five years . . . but I am already looking forward to January 20th, 2034.
–Dan Hartman, MD
