I have noticed in my increasingly longer life, that the window of opportunity only stays open so long. There seems to be chances in life to grab the brass ring, but then the time passes and you are left in the dust . . . or are you? Sometimes the answer is yes. But often times, the answer is no.
As we move forward in life, there are opportunities that present themselves and then pass. It can be quite discouraging when life seems to move forward without you and you feel very stuck in your current situation. Whether it is in your professional life or your personal life, is is one of life’s common experiences. This has occurred in the life of one of my most loyal customers . . . er . . . patients. She has had a certain situation occur over and over in her life and she cannot seem to get herself and her family off of a certain track of behavior and reoriented to a new way of living with each other. The family system is continually undermined by certain segments of the household, resulting in a repetition of events. In my work with her, I have talked about opportunities coming and going . . . and coming and going . . . and the need to make changes at times when those opportunities present themselves.
It has been hard for her and her family.
This past month, yet again, the opportunity for change came and went. She is understandably discouraged and saddened. And not sure how to make things change. At times she feels alone and unaided by her family in her quest to make her home a home, and not just a house with warring parties. We spoke of the opportunity for change. We spoke of the need to strike when the iron is hot . . . of grabbing the brass ring . . . of a window of opportunity . . .
But decisions were made, made in good faith by good hearted people, and the window of opportunity closed. And the song remains the same. The system has re-equilibrated right back to where they were before. And the sense of defeat and hopelessness and sadness is palpable.
The good news here, is that, like before, the window will open. Systems tend to operate like they have been operating. People change, but they don’t change that much unless they work at it or find God. Just like the times before where the window opened, it will open again. The opportunity will present itself yet again. You can use the knowledge that you have gained from this closing to use the next opening for what YOU want YOUR life to be. Life is NOT like a window. It is a carousel ride that goes around and around. And here is your chance . . . hold on . . . stretch . . . reach . . . here it comes . . . grab the brass ring!
–Dan Hartman, MD
